I have gotten quite a few responses concerning my description about coming home. It has been quite a walk. I truly wanted to open up the process and thoughts of the returning Warrior. You see them on the news, in your home town, on your street, in your homes and they suffer in silence. If I could have done one thing with this story it was to give the struggle a face. How does one discuss a feeling with someone who has no idea what it was like? How on earth could you be afraid of a cup sitting next to a garbage can? This is how I arrived at making the feeling a “thing” that could be the villain.
The last thing the Warrior wants to be is, weak. This Demon, it came to be over time. It became rooted early on and flowered following an event. These loved Warriors are supposed to be the strength in your life, the stoic and granite father or mother for your children. You saw their strength on the television, read about their steely missions in the books and magazines, watched their violent successes in movies. To maintain that image, they chose silence upon returning home. This is part of the cost for freedom. The fee must be paid. They will go forward with life, they will need support to learn to love what they have not what they were supposed to have.
The switch that helped them survive can be turned on and off. For many of them it has been turned on and it is a lifetime of work to turn it off. The Demon throws the switch. The Demon constantly reminds them they are weak.
One thing that has been interesting regarding my writing is how time gives you perspective. The ah-HA moments for even myself continue to mount. Something I did not develop in the writing was that this Demon is perhaps not all evil. There is a connection, a bond, a brotherhood that is as strong as family. To the ends of Earth I would travel in a moments notice to aid my Teammates. This same response paralyzes me in a restaurant with unattended bags on the seats….
I have had the pleasure of having a wonderful artist from New Hampshire, Sarah Vivilicchia, read the Blog and create a picture. I do hope you can appreciate the symbolism she has ever so smoothly captured. The Demon is captured as it lives, translucent to those who see me, the Kingdom. As they look past Him and see me, I work to hide him. People may see me as broken but, I am just working to hide the Demon. I run from his shadow while never escaping his reach.
Sarah, I am ever so grateful for your amazing talents. Never stop sharing them. Giving a voice to those who struggle to speak:
Its the only way,
A Warriors Way
(C) Sarah Vivilecchia. Used with permission.